Friday, August 01, 2008

I've got to do what?

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my self worth and self image and self esteem. Over the last year and a half I've lost about 6 stone (84lb) in weight. Having been overweight all my life, I'm experiencing real freedom both physically and emotionally as I've changed. I would say that I have more confidence in myself, I'm more likely to give things a go rather than shy away, I generally like what I see when I look in the mirror.

However, I know I still have lots of self worth issues to work through. One good friend of mine constantly tells me that I'm beautiful. Some days I'm willing to believe that, but others I wonder how on earth they can say that. He says I should tell myself that until I believe it. The problem is I've had years of mentally writing myself off, of lacking confidence in myself, of hating who I was and how I looked. Things are getting better, but it still needs work.

I was reading a book the other day which mentioned the following bible verses. Most people would probably focus on the first part of what Jesus says, and that's right and good to do that, but this book was drawing out the second commandment.

Matthew 22:37-39
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

'Love your neighbour as yourself'. I don't know how many times I've read or heard that said, but I've never grasped it the way they were explaining it in this book. 'Love you neighbour', I can grasp that and do that fine, but 'as yourself'? Wait a second? It says I have to love myself. It's a commandment from God that I should do that. If I don't love myself I'm doing an injustice to God. I'm belittling something that God has made and loves and honours highly. One of the things I want to do more of the next few days and weeks is to look at my position in God's eyes. I know that God loves me, but I don't think I understand fully what that means. I want to look at scripture and the things it says about me and meditate more upon it.


PamperingBeki said...

This is something I try to teach my kids constantly.

God made you *exactly* the way he wanted you. His fingerprints are all over you. He molded and created every facet of your being. Are you perfect? No. But that's how He wanted you.

And I do think that not recognizing that is dishonoring Him. You are a blessed beautiful being that He chose to breath life into and place on the earth for this exact moment in time. That's pretty amazing!

And there's your PamperingBeki lecture for the day. Haha!!

sewmelody said...

You are God's...That means He created you to be loved. Even if you don't feel loveable...There's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent Him from loving!

I think we all struggle with these issues to varying degrees. But God does not waver.

Sometimes I pretend I am a young child and that He is holding me in His arms. It is easier to accept His love and image of me when I feel innocent and childlike...Is that silly?

Lovely and honest writing. Thanks for sharing.

Mrs Wibbs said...

amen to that!
look forward to reading your thoughts when you've delved deeper still...
Will be praying for you, it is so important to love yourself my friend, but it is so hard!
Big hugs, you're on the right path :o)

Kathleen said...

Love thy neighbor as yourself.

That may explain why some people who do not like themselves are so horrible to others.

I have not met you, but I think of you as a perfectly wonderful person, kind and caring. I think loving yourself is more of a feeling of peace and well being. You can do it.

What a good point! Well made. I mean your point. Not the little I just said.

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Well you certainly are worthy of heaps and mounds of love, what a touching post, so fraught with emotion. I hope your spiritual/personal travels bode you well.

Mama V said...

Nice observation. You're a very special, neautiful woman.

Right As Rain Creations said...

Debs, wow! That hit me hard. I've never thought of that before. Or thought about the fact that if you don't love yourself, how well are you really loving your neighbor anyway?

It is the "in order to fix the leak, you have to fix the faucet" mentality. Whereas I am more of a "stuff a rag in the faucet" kind of gal.

I have some thinking to do. Thanks! :)