sneeeeezy day

I'm too busy sneezing to think of much to say.

Earlier I put Sophia up on my shoulder to burp her but she was so desperate to keep sucking that she got a hold of my ear to suck on! Her breath really tickled.

We made it out the house

Yesterday we stayed in all day cos we were both a bit under the weather, however by the end of the day I was feeling a bit emotional and stir crazy. Today we're out (I'm writing this at my mum's house) and I'm heading off to enjoy it. Back tomorrow, possibly!

sniffles and snuffles

Now obviously I've hit a fundamental problem if I were try to do NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) as I didn't post on the first! However I am trying to write more on my blog now life's beginning to settle down a little.

This is for several reasons, firstly I like writing, and I'm constantly thinking of things that I want to say on here, and if I'm only posting once or twice a week, I've forgotten most of those things by the time I come to write. Ok, so maybe that means you don't have to read so much of my drival, but, and this leads me on to my second point... I want to remember the little things from these early days. Already it's going so fast, and details are beginning to fade. I know when I was younger I wanted to hear lots of stories about when I was a baby, and if my blog will help me to remember those stories for Sophia, then I'm all for it. Obviously there will be things that won't go on here as it's a public forum, but lots of the little things can.

Sophia's still got a cold. She spent a lot of last night coughing and sniffling and sounding like she was trying to cough up a fur ball. As it's pretty yucky again outside, I think we'll just be staying in most of the day, with perhaps a quick blow in the park or a pop to the shop up the road for milk and bread. She doesn't seem too unhappy today, it's just me that's in distress seeing my baby snuffle and sneeze. (And actually I'm doing ok, I think it's Daddy that's most concerned, but then he did have to go to work and leave us).

Sophia's developed a couple of new cries in the last few days. They have elements that sound like 'ai' (as in rain), 'ee' (as in beech) and 'i' (aye). We're now two fifths of the way to teaching her the names of the vowels ;)

Random Thoughts

My baby girl is almost 4 weeks old. This was taken at 3 weeks exactly by the lovely Sarah C who came to visit us last Wednesday.

Apparently for me it's all about pillows. When I was pregnant the thing I used most was probably the L shape pillow that I used when I was sleeping. I'd stick one prong between my legs and the other went under my bump to support it. Now Sophia's here it's all about my breastfeeding pillow. It's a sort of C or half moon shape, and although I'd probably never have bought it myself, having been presented with it by some lovely friends (who also gave us lots of other baby equipment and clothes!) I use it all the time. I even take it with me if I know I'm going to need to be feeding Sophia in someone else's house!

One of the things that's really blessed us has been all the food that people have prepared and brought round to us. There's nothing like just having to pop something in the microwave for a few minutes, but knowing that you're not eating junk, but something that's been lovingly homemade from scratch. We've also been blessed by all the people who've shopped for us and continually supplied us with important things like toilet paper and tissues and fresh fruit and vegetables. Not to mention all the gifts we've been given for Sophia - I'm sure she now had more clothes than me or Menard.

We're battling the damp in our flat. It's hard because combine a baby and several wet days, and you have to dry your laundry indoors (because there are some days where she can manage to get through 4 outfits in half an hour!) Add to that things like wardrobes being built against outside walls, without any extra panelling inbetween which led to a wardrobe full of mildewing clothes, and it's a bit of a nightmare. We've got a dehumidifier, but it's only little and we're so aware of the electricity it's consuming.

Sophia's suffering from her first cold. She's been a bit snuffly for a few days, but when she woke up yesterday she was sniffling and snuffling on every breath so we stayed home from church - it was also pouring with rain, so we were quite happy to stay home in the warm. She's a bit better today, but still very clingy, if a baby can be called clingy. And talking of clingy, she's very firmly telling me that it's time to pick her up again, so I'd better go.

In case anyone is worried

I know that 3 weeks after giving birth is still early days. I guess what I mean at this stage is taking hold of my eating habits. I've eaten a heck of a lot of junk in the past couple of months - late pregnancy and early days, and I need to break the habit of wanting to reach for a chocolate bar or something equally bad for me, and instead be reaching for a pear or an apple when I'm desperately hungry and trying to grab a snack.

I know that if I don't take a hold of those habits now, I'm going to find it even harder to get going when I'm actually actively trying to lose weight.

BUT, I'm also getting lots of rest, drinking lots of water, and sleeping when I can (which isn't often in the day, cos Sophia has a nasty habit of cat napping for only 10 minutes at a time!)

Taking control

Sophia is three weeks old today. It's time to start taking control of my weight again.
I'm blogging again at my personal weight loss blog, and also at One Weigh or Another.

Early Days

A few photos from the very first day, in fact from the first couple of hours.
And one from today - blending into the buggy!
She's yelling for a feed, so I don't have time to comment anymore. Enjoy!

Go to bed sleepy head

My beautiful baby girl is actually sleeping better, only waking for one feed a night. She lost a lot of weight in the first 10 days or so, so as of last weekend we've been adding in formula to top her up. It was a hard decision for me to do, because I've always known that I wanted to breastfeed. I am still breastfeeding, but we're adding in formula after some of the feeds, and in particular the evening and night feeds.
Since we started them she's been sleeping so much better, only waking for one feed in the night, and sleeping for between four and six hours at a stretch.

However, while we were still being woken up at least 3 times a night, or woken up for long stretches of time, there were several things that I did or said which illustrated just how sleep deprived I was. Unfortunately the lack of sleep has also made me forget all but one of this things I planned to write in this blog post, so I'm only able to share that one...

I made a cup of tea for Menard. It was only when I stopped to wonder why it was taking so long for the teabag to make the water turn into tea, that I realised that although I'd filled the kettle, I hadn't actually boiled it!

In the middle of the night

I go walking in my sleep.

Not a proper post, just checking in to say we're alive. My baby girl is two weeks old now, I have no idea where that time went, all the days just seem to blur together!
It's been a tough week, I've had mastitis and Sophia lost a lot of weight - more than the expected 10% of her birth weight. Things are settling down a bit, and I think we're on the up.

One week old

Sophia Louise is one week old today.

The very first evening at home
Tiny hand, day 4Here's looking at you kid
She's got hairy ears!
And her feet are big like mummy's!

She's here!

Tiny's here.
We're all doing great. Totally exhausted, but great.
She doesn't have a name as yet.
She was born at 3.33am on Wednesday the 7th, weighing 8lb 2oz.
We love her more already than we ever thought possible.

D-day!

D being 'due date'.
Things might be happening a little around here. Certainly not labour yet, but signs that it might be on the way. Tiny's at least reminding me that he won't be staying in there forever. We'll keep you posted.

bleugh

I hab got a cold and a sore throat and earache. The doctor says it is just a virus (thought it best to get checked out, just in case).
I feel a bit icky. Tiny can stay put for a couple of days, and I'll snuggle down with a duvet on the sofa. I think Menard has it too, but he's still gone to work this morning. Hopefully we'll both get better soon.

Psst

Tiny here. I've got to stay in a bit longer so that mummy can disprove all the old wives tales about ways to bring labour on. Although she says she's not convinced by the castor oil idea, so we might give that one a miss.
I'll be out and about soon, but in my own time. We'll keep you posted...

I will follow him

follow him wherever he may go.
My bump's taken on a life of its own in the last couple of weeks. It's at its biggest, and I'm acutely aware that I'm following it around anytime I go anywhere. Tiny's certainly making his presence felt, as no doubt he will in an entirely different way once he's actually here in person.
In the meantime, I'm just getting increasingly uncomfortable and so ready to have this baby. Please come soon, Tiny.

one more river *

One week today. Well, till the due date anyway. Who knows how many actual days it'll be. As HP said in a text to me yesterday, it could be a couple of weeks, or it could all kick off in the next half hour!
Hopefully it won't be in the next half hour, cos I can smell something delicious cooking, and I'd like to still be feeling like tasting it once it's cooked (My wonderful husband is cooking curry. Yum!).

This afternoon I actually started packing my hospital bag. Well, actually there's stuff piled on my bed, but it's actually there, not just ideas in my head or in my notebook! I will start putting things in the suitcase, but that's currently in the wardrobe and it's booby trapped under something else, and if I try to get it out by myself there's bound to be trouble. But yes, we have stuff. Lots of stuff, ready to be packed in the suitcase. It's definitely better than yesterday's 'start'!

* I was going to title this 'one more week' but that somehow reminded me of a line from a song, which is how it ended up being 'one more river'. That may make no sense to anyone but me, but I get it, so that's ok.

Still pregnant - 8 days til due date

I'm still pregnant. Contractions come and go, but since they're not developing into anything I've told them that I'm ignoring them until they decide to shape up properly and get on with it.
Not a lot else to report. I've written the list of things to take to hospital, that's a start, right?!

Showered with blessings

Tiny and I were well and truly showered on Sunday afternoon. A couple of friends organised a surprise baby shower for me, and Menard was in on the surprise too. A bunch of crazy but lovely folk invaded our home for a couple of hours, bringing fantastic decorations, yummy food, and lots of presents for me. It was lovely cos my Mum, Menard's Mum, Yvonne his sister, and my sister Bekki were all there too. A great combination of friends and family.

I didn't take any photos, but I know Bekki and a couple of others did, so I'm sure they'll appear online at some point...!

(Our net's been down for a couple of days. Well, I say down, what I actually mean is we need to buy a new top-up voucher for it. This is written at my Mum's house, but hopefully we'll have the net up and running at our place again soon).

More photos

HP's hen party, 25th July.
Yes, I have pants on my head!At HP and Steve's wedding, 15th August. Check out that bump! And my wonderful purple shoes :)

A few photo highlights from the year

Progression of bump:
At our wedding, 5th April. Not much of a bump, indeed I'd lost weight in the week leading up to the wedding, so the dress actually fitted me less well than it had the week before.
Outside the registry office, May 30th. Definitely the beginnings of a bump. I'd bought this dress the week before in a charity shop, and only wore it the once. By a week or so later it no longer fitted!At my cousin Pete's wedding, 8th August 2009. Wearing the dress I'd worn to his older brother's wedding back in summer 2007 which was pre-weight loss. I'd been intending to try to sell it on e-bay, but it's coming in handy again as it goes over the bump!
At HP and Steve's wedding rehearsal, 13th August. I was worn this dress/top and trousers so many times. In fact, if you asked someone who saw me a lot over the summer to predict what I'd be wearing the next time they saw me, if they said this outfit they'd probably be right about 90% of the time! (Obviously I washed it lots too!)

List writer extrordinaire

As anyone who knows me could probably tell you, I love writing lists. I am a list writer. Whether it's a shopping list, or a to-do list, or a packing list, I love it. There's something about taking a fresh piece of paper, and a pen, and organising thoughts into a logical process.

Some of my lists have become famous, or at least immortalised, within our family. There's my shopping list, which is a tick box sheet of things that we regularly buy, laid out roughly in the order that you encounter each product as you go round the store. It's saved on the computer, so every couple of weeks my dad prints out a few more, and they sit on top of the freezer. That way as soon as someone thinks of something that needs to be bought, they can tick off the item, and when my mum goes shopping, she knows at a glance what needs to be bought. I think I need to steal or reinvent the list for me and Menard to use too, cos it is a handy way of keeping track of the fact you're out of beans or sugar or soy sauce, without having to make sure you tell everyone verbally six times.

Then there's the holiday list. It started off as pen on paper, but later also got transferred to the computer. It was the list we'd use as a reference point when we packed to go on summer holiday together (so again, I'm talking about me and my sisters and parents). Each year I'd update it, taking into account the location we'd be staying, and for how long, and all those sorts of things, but the basic backbone of the list remained the same.

So yes, I love writing lists. I wrote lists for my wedding, I wrote lists for HP's wedding. I even wrote a list for HP (or rather in consultation with her) to help her know what to pack to take on her honeymoon.

I've said all that to ponder the question, why have I not made any physical lists to do with having Tiny? Sure, there are many lists going round in my head all the time. Things like what we need to buy/make/get ready for Tiny's arrival, what I need to get for me before Tiny arrives, what I need to take in my hospital bag, even what to put on a birth plan etc etc. But I've yet to actually put pen to paper on any of these.

I think part of the problem is that I am the sort of person that does things at the last minute. All my best essays at university were written as all-nighters the night or two nights before they were due in (as were my worst pieces of work, but for the sake of argument we'll just talk about the good stuff!). Our wedding was planned in two and a half weeks, we had to just get on and do it, and we did. But, the thing about Tiny's arrival is that it could happen tomorrow (or even today, although it seems doubtful, given that I haven't really noticed my bump drop, which suggest Tiny isn't very engaged as yet), but it could also not happen for another month. Babies are considered to be full term when born any time between 37 weeks and 42 weeks. Yesterday I hit the 37 week mark, which means the end's in sight, but it's not near enough in sight to motivate me to write lists!

I can't cope with the anticipation. Tiny may be born this week, it may be another few weeks. I don't know. And the not-knowing stalls me into inaction. It's almost as though once I've done something, like pack my bag for hospital, I won't have anything left to do. So I don't do it, cos that means I can still have something on my mental to-do list. However, I can't leave everything until I'm in labour, which means I need to take myself in hand. Which means actually writing some lists. The most obvious of those lists that need to be written at the moment is knowing what to pack in my hospital bag. I've got several different suggestion lists from a number of sources, and I plan to consult those, but I'd also like those of you who've ever been there and done that with the whole giving birth thing to weigh in with your suggestions. Pretty please!

Also, as a slight aside, I look at some of the lists and think "heck, that's a lot of stuff", so I'd also like to know what you actually packed your stuff in. Is this a pull out the holiday suitcase type of event, or a couple of rucksacks, or what? (I know at the end of the day it doesn't really matter what you take and what you take it in, it'll just be comforting to me to know what other people have done!)

Oh, and yeah, it appears I'm blogging again. I have got some belly pics from the course of the pregnancy that I want to share at some point, but I really need to upload stuff from my camera - it currently still has photos from our wedding way back in April on it, not to mention all the other stuff that's happened since!

Back to work AGAIN

Tomorrow school starts again and I have to go back to work. I have no idea where I'm gonna find the energy to survive it, but at least I only have to do 7 days of it, and then I'm off on maternity leave.
Being realistic, I'm likely to be scarce around here again for a bit, but I'll be back again once I'm done, hopefully!

Hey

It's just struck home to me that after all these years reading Mum/Mom blogs, I am a blogger who's going to be a Mum! Ok, so talk about stating the obvious, but remember this is the girl who can freak herself out by forgetting that she's pregnant when she wakes up in the night, and then get a shock catching sight of the BUMP* in the mirror.

I'm still working on what exactly I'll be sharing on here. It's one thing blogging about myself, it's another blogging about others like Menard and Tiny. I don't think I've crossed the line yet, but I'd also rather stay the right side of the line, while also sharing with the many many friends I've made in the blogging and online world. It's a tough one, so bear with me!

* written not in capital letters just didn't convey the size of the bump well enough, hence BUMP!

The afternoon nap

is here to stay.

My husband knows me more than I'd sometimes like to admit. Especially when it involves his saying words like "Debs, go have a lie down, you know you're tired". Somehow those words desperately make me want to fight against sleep, to stay awake to prove my point, that I'm right, and no, it's not tiredness that's made me go all grumpy and slightly spaced out, and just sit in the chair and stare into space and.... But he is right. He's so right. And for the last two days I've reluctantly admitted that, and gone to lie down. And today I didn't wake up for another two and a half hours. I really did need that nap!

I have no idea how I'll survive going back to work this week. School starts again on Thursday, and I'm working until the following Friday (so seven days). I've already warned Menard that I'll probably be horrible to live with, and that I imagine it'll be similar to when I started the job - I cam home and went to bed, my parents woke me for dinner, and then I went to bed again! I have a feeling he's going to be taking a lot of the household load for the next couple of weeks, but I guess it's good practice for when Tiny's here.

A history of cravings

The first was burgers. Not just any old burgers, mind you, none of that McDonalds or Burger King ickyness with all their weird extras like mayonnaise. No, preferably a barbecued burger, in a bun, with plenty of fried onions, and nothing else.

Next came chocolate spread. I couldn't get enough of the stuff. I think I killed that craving when I bought the biggest jar of nutella I could find. There's nothing like having a large amount available to kill your craving. I am, however, still addicted to most things chocolaty.

Around this time I also had a brief flirtation with fruit. I'd sit with my chopping board, knife, and a big bowl right next to the fruit bowl, and chop up at least one of everything in there, and then crunch and munch my way through the lot.

Next came the one that most people probably know about - ritz crackers and cheddar cheese. This has probably lasted the longest of my cravings, but I think I'm finally over it as I sat down with a little pile of them the other day, and didn't even make it through the initial pile (whereas previously I could easily go back for a second or third helping).

At some point jelly babies also became a particular favourite. I wasn't fussy, the supermarket own brand ones were almost as good as the original Bassets jelly babies, although I think the Sainsbury's one tasted better than Tesco's. It was probably the Tesco's ones that put me off them again. I could still happily eat a jelly baby or two if they were offered to me, but I would no longer want to scoff the whole bowl.

And now, with only a few weeks to go, I'm back on the fruit and veg kick. That's partly cos I woke up the other day with an ulcer on my tongue, and realised I hadn't eaten much fruit and veg for a few days, and that I was feeling a little run down. It's also connected to me finally finding counter space for our new juicer to stay out, and not have to be put away and then taken out again anytime you want to use it. So whether this is strictly a craving, or just me attempting to get my diet back on track a little, I reckon I'll be sticking with the fruit and veg for a while. Or I will be once I've stocked up again - right now there's only one apple in the fruit bowl, and quite a lot of carrots slowly dying in the fridge. Time to go shopping, methinks.

This post is powered

by very little sleep, and I actually feel quite woozy. However, I'm determined to meet up with my friend Hayley in town for an hour or so. Once I get home I'll be heading right back to bed.
Hopefully at some point soon I will find time to be at home and not asleep, or sleepy, but actually write something proper on here. No promises though, or only that I'll be back eventually. Sorry!

Sneak preview

Wedding went well. Still recovering from all the excitement. This is me and Tiny in the bridesmaid outfit I wore. On Saturday I was 32 weeks and 4 days, I think.
More to follow once life's calmed down a bit.

Hey everyone

We haven't had internet in my house since Friday (we need to buy a top-up voucher) and HP & Steve are getting married on Saturday. A combination of those two factors have kept me away. However, once this weekend is out the way, I'll be back, I promise!

31 weeks and other ramblings

I'm 31 weeks pregnant. That's scary. It's gone so fast. I've been pregnant all year (literally), and so many things have been squeezed into that year. It's funny how time can do that - feel slow and yet fast all at once.
So far this year I've started a new job, got married, moved into a new flat, and lots of other more minor events too. In less than two weeks HP will be getting married, and within 12 months of my getting married, Bekki will be too. That's a lot of events for one family.

I have a master list for things that I want/need to do before the baby arrives. And I've even managed to tick off a few things (fix in tax return, finally request for our wedding gift vouchers to be posted to us..), but the problem is I keep thinking of other things that need to go on the list. I guess as long I keep tackling, and put some fun things on there too, it'll hopefully all get done in the end.

I'm so not ready for this baby to arrive, and yet at other times I feel I'm just ready for it to come out now. Tiny's been 'cooking' so long, surely it must be nearly ready?! I'm also looking forward to not having to empty my bladder so often at night time, and not needing six million pillows to get me even a little bit comfortable. I'm definitely looking forward to meeting Tiny in person.

The example of Mary

Now I have no intention of turning this into a superspiritual "I've got all the answers" type of blog, cos, well, for a start, I certainly don't have all the answers, and there's nothing worse than pretending that you do, if you don't.

(Brief sidenote, I think doing better and getting there with my recovery from swine flu, however, I'm also aware that it seems to have brought out the rambling 'write extra long sentences' side of me. So if you find yourself losing the plot of what I'm trying to say, it's probably because I've gone off on a ramble rather than any fault on the your part).

Anyway, what I am trying to share with you all is some of the thoughts I had on Thursday night when M and I were reading the beginning of the gospel of Luke. The gospel starts off with Luke explaining why he wrote it. I know I've read that before, but it struck me again what a logical person Luke was. He set out to write the book in a way that was logical, that followed through and didn't jump about, and I really like that. It's the way that I try to be when I'm writing. Ok, so with all this ramble it can be hard to see that, but I do generally have a rough idea of where I'm headed and the logic behind it. Honest! Although actually, I wasn't going to write that paragraph about Luke, it just happened, so maybe I've still got a thing or two to learn from Luke.

Next Luke writes about Elizabeth and Zechariah, the parents of John the Baptist. M and I also discussed quite a bit about John the Baptist, and what he was like, and how he got his following, and things like that, but again, I'm not intending to stop and talk about him for long either. (See the title of this post, and you'll hopefully see where I'm trying to go).

Thirdly, Luke writes about Mary. Now, the funny thing is that we didn't actually read this bit, or not to start with. We read up until about verse 25, and it's in the next verse that it starts talking about Mary. However, we have a slight advantage, since we know how the story goes, and I admit I'm the sort of reader whose eyes slight further down the page to take a peek at what's coming next. Hm, I'm rambling, let's start a new paragraph.

Verse 26 starts with telling us that the following events (Mary being visited by an angel) took place in the sixth month of Elizabeth's pregnancy, and I thought "hey, that's like me". We started talking about what it would have been like to be pregnant back then, and boy was it different. (I've just been thinking on that even more as I type, and there are more differences than I can even begin to list, but I'm trying hard not to get distracted).

At first I was thinking that Elizabeth went to visit Mary, and was sympathising at what that must have been like, after all the roads weren't necessarily very good, so it meant travelling by foot or donkey, or something similar, and judging by how tired I've been recently (swine flu aside) it would have tough. Then I realised that I'd actually misread, and that Mary was the one to visit Elizabeth, and that seemed fairer. Until I thought back on my first days of pregnancy, the ones filled with constant nausea and so much tiredness. In the early days of my pregnancy and new job I used to come home from work and go to sleep, my parents would wake me for dinner, and then I'd go back to bed. Choosing to travel anywhere would not have been on the top of my priority list.

Actually, I did travel to Cambridge for the day with my Mum early on in the pregnancy, and I can still remember now quite how dreadful I felt. We stopped halfway there (halfway through a one hour journey!) because I thought I would be sick, and when we actually arrived in Cambridge I was horribly and terribly sick. To cut a long thought short, travelling at the stage of my pregnancy was not fun, and I can't imagine it was much fun for Mary, however long the actually journey was for her.

And then, fast forward towards the end of Mary's pregnancy. Again, we were cheating a little, cos this doesn't happen until chapter two, but it was just a natural continuation of our discussion. Mary has to go with Joseph to Bethlehem to take part in a giant census of the Roman Empire. Now, looking at my life again for a second, I know that M and I decided we'd be decline the invitation to one of the weddings we were meant to be going to this summer, because it's so far away and would mean a lot of travelling. And that would only have been when I was 7 months pregnant, and was really only a few hours either way in a car. It could have been do-able if we'd really tried, we just decided we needed to be sensible (given that the following two weekends after that we have family weddings to attend).

I can imagine that if I were Mary, and my pregnancy was getting on a bit I would have begged Joseph to let me stay at home, while he filled in the census for me. Ok, so I'm a bit shaky on whether that would have actually been possible, but still, I'd have given it a go. (As my friend Danielle is often reminding me, there's only so long you can actually use the excuse "I'm pregnant", so you have to make the most of it!). But no, there's no mention of any sort of moaning or discontent from Mary, she just gets on her donkey, and off they go.

Mary amazes me, through all stages of her pregnancy we see her happy and rejoicing, willing to do as God asks her. Ok, so we don't get to read her pregnancy diary, but Luke still paints a pretty good picture of her. (And he was a doctor, so presumably had an inkling into what it would be like for a woman who was pregnant at that time). As M pointed out, think of all those pregnancy hormones raging through her body. I think M is just about getting used to me and my tears, tears which can fall that the slightest provocation, but I'm sure I don't always make it easy for him to live with me. I get fed up with all my crying sometimes, and I know he does.

But Mary faithfully followed God's plan for her. By travelling to Bethlehem and giving birth there, Jesus' birth was fulfilling prophecies made about it years beforehand. I wonder how much of that she realised at the time, or whether it was more of a blind faith. These are questions I guess I'll never know the answer to, or at least not on this earth, but this I do know, my present circumstances have given me a little more insight into Mary's life, and also a lot more respect for her, and the role she played in giving birth to, and raising Jesus. Here's to Mary.