Monday, September 29, 2008

That Friday Feeling

Except it's now Monday. But I'll use the title anyway.
Last night I wrote a list of things I want to achieve this week. I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself to achieve everything on the list (some of the goals are slightly more long term). But it's a start, and gives me something to plan towards.

I kinda hurt my ankle again a bit yesterday at church - climbing over a barrier, I landed on it funny. Hopefully it'll settle down again soon. I'm trying to still do the exercises that my friend who's a physio therapist suggested. (He gave my ankle some manipulation last Tuesday, and it really felt better for a few days)

I'm going to try to stay on track with my eating again this week. It got a bit out of hand last week, and I really don't want the weight to start to creep back on.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


I've been tagged by Ladybuggz to share 7 facts about myself that not everyone knows. This may be tricky as a wide variety of people read my blog - some only know me online, and others know me very well in person, but here goes...

1. On both feet, my second toes are actually longer than my big toes.

2. I am the most accident prone person I know, but I've never broken a bone.

3. I don't eat fish. Even the smell of it can make me feel sick.

4. I currently have 8 blogs and 5 email addresses. I'm thinking I need to cut down a bit..

5. I cannot stand wearing itchy clothes, so that pretty much includes anything made from wool.

6. I grind my teeth in my sleep, and talk, and sometimes sleepwalk. Trust me, you don't want to share a room with me.

7. I'm still in my pyjamas, and it's after midday.

I tag anyone who wants to be tagged. If you do it, come back and leave me a link in the comments.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hair shots...

This is the best 'before' shot I can find right now.
After - Front view
Back view

Happy day

Yesterday I had the happiest day I've had in a long time. Somehow things all came together, and it just felt good. I was enjoying doing things and I was enjoying being alive. I decided in advance that I wanted to 'achieve' getting a hair cut and buying a diary (day planner), and I did :)

I like my new haircut, and hopefully I'll be able to get it to do the things the lady in the shop got it to do when she blow dried it. Dont get me wrong, I have no intention to spend 20 minutes on my hair every day, but I might manage five, tops!

In the afternoon I did some cooking. I made homemade baked beans and an apple&blackberry crumble. I haven't really cooked much in a long time, and it felt good to me cooking again.

And in the evening I got to spend some time chatting with friends online. It all made a great day :)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I am wiped out

I guess a sickness bug and fever, followed by a couple of days packed with excitement can really wear a girl out. I'm exhausted. I'm about to go take a nap.
I'll try to catch up with blogging later or tomorrow.

Friday, September 19, 2008

DebbieBoo goes to Cambridge

I took DebbieBoo to Cambridge, and we met Bekki and went into town.
Here we are in the carpark lift (I saw the mirror and thought, hey, a way to take a photo of all three of us at once!)DebbieBoo and Bekki on a bridge over the Cam

Just after eating lunch.

Shamelessly stolen from DebbieBoo..

Taken yesterday with DebbieBoo's Macbook.
Today we'll be spending a bit of time sightseeing in Cambridge, and we'll have lunch with Bekki, so hopefully more photos to follow.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A collection of random thoughts

I'm having a bit of a sad day.

I have this song stuck in my head, going round and round, over and over. 'Tis not a good thing.

DebbieBoo is arriving tomorrow. I'm meeting her at the airport. Yay!

I'm meeting her at the airport, all by myself. I hope I can find the right place to go.

She'll be here for about 6 months, so pray for her that she loves it, and doesn't miss her family and friends too much while she's here. And please pray for an uneventful journey. She'll be checking in at the airport in about 4 or 5 hours, and then flying overnight.

I'm going to eat rice and applesauce for dinner today (not together). I think my stomach is better, but it aches a bit right now, so I'm trying to treat it gently.

My ankle is aching this evening, a sort of dull throb. I'm getting it checked out when I go to the docs on Friday.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Random Fun

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

I would blog if ...

...I had the mental capacity and didn't have a tummy bug and high fever.
So instead, let me dig a pic or two from the archives.
(All from our holiday this summer)
Icecream!Does this make my neck look long?
HP being a moose. As you do

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Trying to hang on in there

Life is hard right now. Today feels particularly hard for some reason.
Yesterday I had lunch with a lady from my church and she was really helpful and encouraging and agreed to stand with me as I fight this depression. She talked about how I need to be sure that I do want to fight it, that that needs to be my decision. Other people can only do so much, the rest needs to come from within me. I understand what she was saying, and I really really do want things to change. I'm fed up of feeling this way, of feeling like I'm searching for light at the end of the tunnel, but not seeing it yet.

I guess in a way, I have begun to see some light, some hope for me and my life. I still have no idea what to do with my life, what job to get, what career path to follow. All those things totally freak me out when I think about them, but I have faith that I will get to a place where I'm not scared any more, when I'm not frightened about making long term plans, where I can function as a proper living person again.

This morning the church prayer meeting was an extented time of praying for people where there is depression, disease and disappointment. I felt I pretty much fell into all those categories. I was prayed for, and I prayed, and spent time with God, pretty much saying, This is where I'm at God, I need your help. I was encouraged by a word one of the elders gave me, that although I've been sick for a long time, sickness is not my portion for the next six months. God wants me to be well, God is going to make me well. That's the hope I'm clinging on to today. That God is a good God, and he loves me and wants the very best for me.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

This is a different kind of post

to the one you would have got if I'd actually managed to write it earlier.

The last couple of days things have felt pretty good. Hmm, well, maybe not good, but ok, bearable. I've even laughed at some stuff with my family and friends. Today was sunny and the kiddos (Little One and Little Flower) and I had a walk to the corner shop for icecreams and sat out on the grass eating them (yes, icecreams not on the diet, but screw the diet!) The day was going ok, I guess.

But then it took nearly 2 hours to get home (bus didn't come for ages and ages, and then there'd been an accident and the traffic was all messed up) and by the time I got here my brain had just shut down. I just felt tired and cranky and numb. Like a shutter's come down inside my head, and it says "closed to having fun until further notice". And "leave all hope behind" Which is a cliche, but is where my head's at right now.

Tomorrow I need to ring the doctor to make another appointment. About the depression, and also about my ankle which is still not significantly better. It's been two and a half weeks now, and it can still hurt with a pain that makes me feel sick if I move it wrong, or hit it on something by mistake.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. We shall see...
(hey, and big thanks to my etsy friends who have been putting up with me this evening, even in the mood I'm in. You know who you are)

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Saturday, September 06, 2008


Sorry for shouting there, just got a bit over excited.
It's up, it's happenin', come over and join us
One Weigh or Another
It's all pretty basic at the moment, but things will be getting prettier in time..!

I am beautiful, in every single way *

Ok, so it feels like there hasn't really been a lot of content on my blog recently, so I'll try my best to change that, but bear with me, cos it's not easy to get down on paper (or computer screen!) what's going through my head.

I went to the doctors on Thursday. It was really scary, and I had to make myself go. I think it was only the fact that I'd told so many people I was going, and didn't want to let anyone down that actually made me go. On Monday when I'd rung for an appointment I thought through all the different doctors I've seen over the last 6 or 7 months, and to honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to any of them about it. So I left it to God - I asked for an appointment to see a doctor on Thursday, and didn't even ask the name of who I would be seeing, I just left it in God's hands. And he did good :)

It was a lady doctor that I'd never seen or heard of before, but she was great. She made me feel at ease from the beginning (or as at ease as you can be when you're going to say that you're depressed!) But she was friendly and supportive and it felt like she was actually listening to what I had to say (rather than just shrugging it off). I didn't cry on her, but my voice did get pretty tense and squeaky!

Anyway, we talked for a quite a while, and she asked me questions and said some useful stuff. There's an in-house counsellor and she's giving me a referral to see them, and she also printed off a bunch of useful stuff for me to read. She told me about mood gym, which I'm gonna try out sometime... and got me to fill in a questionnaire thing about depression - which I think kinda gauges the level of depression a person is experiencing. We're holding off medication for the time being, which I think is a wise decision. I don't want to rush into that, but would like to try out some other avenues first. She said to come back again in two weeks, but not to hesitate to make an appointment sooner if I need to talk before that. And, I wrote down her name so I can't forget who she is, and can request her for next time!

Hmm, I have lots of other stuff to say, but that seems enough for this post..!

*line from Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Friday, September 05, 2008

Blog links

OWOA-ers, I'm trying to set up the new site. The link in my sidebar is now to the new site. I will go properly live with it soon. Please be thinking/drafting intro posts, and taking new photos...!
What I want to know from you all is what links you'd like to see on the blog.
If you've got a blog and want it there, leave me a comment with the web address...
I'm thinking I'll put up some of the links we had on the old site, but not all...

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers

I went to the doctors and it was helpful. I'll write more later (I'm just squeezed on the computer for a couple of minutes while my mum makes a phone call)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Doctor's Appointment

I have an appointment for tomorrow at 9.20am. Right now I'm feeling scared about it, so please pray that first of all, I go. Secondly that I don't bottle out of saying what needs to be said. And thirdly, that i don't leave until we've made some progress.


One Weigh or Another-ers, I need to make sure I have the email address which you will want to use as your log-in to the new blog.
For example, Tami already has a blogger blog. If she wants her ID on OWOA to be connected with her existing blogger profile, she needs to tell me what email she uses for that.
Does that make any sense at all? The sooner you get back to me, the sooner I can add you to the site, and then reveal it to you in all its beauty!
(email me on white-elephant AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk)
Thanks y'all.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Monday Morning Weigh-in

How was your weekend?
Mine was, interesting. Not gonna go into details, but yesterday was a kinda confusing day.
On the plus side, I did get to chat to some people at church, and they made some useful suggestions that I'm gonna work on.
Anyhow, tell me how you are, and weigh-in.