Sometimes I feel grown up and sensible and at other times I feel like a schoolgirl trying to live in the adult word. A bit like how Jenna, the character in 13 going on 30, feels. I think going on holiday with my family can definitely have that effect on me. It's fun to be all together. My older sister, Bekki, usually lives in Cambridge, and HP, my younger sister is away at university half the year, so when we do have the chance to be altogether it's fun. Well, for the first 24 hours or so.. and then we generally start to have a few arguments, but even then, well, it wouldn't be family time without them!
So who am I? Am I the confident grown up who takes care of The Little One and Little Flower, who can deal with poop issues and kiddo mess without batting an eyelid.
Or am I the 'little kid' who likes mucking around being silly with her sisters?
Am I a beautiful, confident woman? Or am I an ugly, awkward, girl who lacks confidence?
I guess the answer is sometimes I'm all of these things. I wish that I could be and feel beautiful, confident and 'grown up' all of the time, but I have to face the fact that I'm not gonna feel like that every day. Some days I'll feel good about myself, some days I won't, but I think, so long as I keep mostly loving being me, then that's a pretty good place to be.
Oh, and in case anyone wondered, I refuse to stop being the little girl who has fun mucking around and being silly with my sisters. Sometimes I think that's when I'm actually most being me :)