My head is so confused at the moment. I don't know what to think about anything. Supposedly I'm better from my ongoing 7 month illness, and should be ready to face life again. To find a job, to actually earn some money again and stop living off my parents (who have been wonderful to put up with my for sooo long!).
But I'm not. Or maybe I am physically, but not mentally, not emotionally. Life is too hard right now. This is a public announcement to say look, actually, however clued up it might appear that I am, actually life is drowning me right now. I've got too good at pretending things are fine, when they're not. I need some intervention. Cos I can't do it by myself anymore.
Tomorrow at church I intend to talk to some people, and on Monday I'll be ringing my doctor to make an appointment, and I'll refuse to leave until they help me. Cos I'm fed up of feeling like this. I really am.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
One Weigh or Another - new site suggestions
Ok, hmmm. I'm thinking at the moment that the new site is going to be blogger based. That's for a couple of reasons
*Firstly, I have lots of blogger experience, and I've already set up the OWOA archives on blogger blogs.
*Secondly, I tried experimenting with the free wordpress blogs, and was having lots of trouble doing things with them.
*Finally, it seems silly to try to find something else, which I don't have experience on, given that I know some of the time are fairly new at the whole blogging thing, so it needs to be something I can explain clearly to other people!
We can always move the site (as blest did with the original site) at a later date if that seems appropriate.
Meet the Team - Someone (I know who said what, but I won't reveal who, for a truly impartial vote ;) ) said that they really liked having the meet the team section, and I agree. I'm not totally sure about how I'd go about creating a page like that on a blogger blog, but I've got some ideas, so I'll have a play with it.
This will need people to email me a few stats about themselves - like starting date and weight, current weight, goal weight. Location (this can be as specific or vague as you like) and maybe a random fact or two. Oh, and maybe preferred exercise type..
Recent comments - I don't know if it's possible to have a recent comments thing on a blogger blog. I'm sure it is, but I will be consulting my internet geek friend to find out just how to go about having that. I've seen things on other people's blogs where they have widgets in the sidebar, so I'm sure there's a way to go about doing it, and I know I found that useful when it was working on the original OWOA.
Hall of Fame - It was suggested that we could have some sort of hall of fame, with pics and stories of people's successes so far. I think this idea needs more developing (and that I need to go back to the email that the person who suggested this sent to me, cos I know she had developed it more, I'm just going from the brief notes I made!)
Recipes - I liked having recipes on the site, personally. I will be going through the OWOA recipe archives and tagging each recipe, so that you'll be able to look on the side bar, click on the word 'chicken' and see all the recipes which contain chicken. This may take me a while, but I'll get there...! Any suggestions on any other useful tags to use (eg what about entree, dessert, etc?) let me know in the comments of this post.
Weigh-ins - Do we want to keep weigh-ins on a Monday? Personally, I like the way that it helps me to stay focused at the weekend (sometimes it does, anyway!), cos I know the results will be shown on Monday. On the other hand, sometimes when people are doing well most of the week, and allow themselves a planned treat at the weekends, it can also show up in the weigh-in and be disappointing (for example, when a person weighs in lower all the rest of the week, but is consistently up slightly on a Monday - does that show a fair representation of their weight? Or is is just disheartening?)
One person suggested keeping weigh-ins on Monday, but having an additional weigh in on a Friday.
Food Friday - seems like people never really took much notice of this unless there was a competition on...
Competitions & Challenges - Do you like them? What sort of focus would you like them to have? Exercise? Healthy eating? Random things - different tasks each week? Points for checking in?
Check-ins - It's good to check in regularly, and I would like to emphasise that although I'm not about to start chucking people off the team if they don't contribute enough, I also want to point out that if you're not engaging and checking in on a fairly regular basis, then it's hard to see what the point of being on the team is! (I hope that's not too harsh, and no one feels condemned).
It's just hard to stay accountable and encourage one another if no one knows exactly where the other people are at. At the same time, I don't want the check-ins to just become the same old same old. We need to have variety.
God stuff - One of the things I liked about OWOA at the beginning was the focus on God. The sharing of our lives, and supporting one another with prayer and thanksgiving. I definitely want to maintain/encourage back that emphasis (I think we lost it a bit as time went on, but again, I'm not trying to blame anyone in particular for that, so please don't feel condemned!) Any thoughts on how we go about doing that?
Post Catagories - On blogger you can catagorise a post by adding tags when you write it. I agree that it's good to arrange posts into catagories, but this may have to be done by me after the post is written if other people are unsure what to tag their post as. I guess we can come up with a list of tags to use, like weigh-ins, check-ins, just life, etc.
That's all I got at the minute. Please weigh in with your thoughts, responses and ideas, please :)
*Firstly, I have lots of blogger experience, and I've already set up the OWOA archives on blogger blogs.
*Secondly, I tried experimenting with the free wordpress blogs, and was having lots of trouble doing things with them.
*Finally, it seems silly to try to find something else, which I don't have experience on, given that I know some of the time are fairly new at the whole blogging thing, so it needs to be something I can explain clearly to other people!
We can always move the site (as blest did with the original site) at a later date if that seems appropriate.
Meet the Team - Someone (I know who said what, but I won't reveal who, for a truly impartial vote ;) ) said that they really liked having the meet the team section, and I agree. I'm not totally sure about how I'd go about creating a page like that on a blogger blog, but I've got some ideas, so I'll have a play with it.
This will need people to email me a few stats about themselves - like starting date and weight, current weight, goal weight. Location (this can be as specific or vague as you like) and maybe a random fact or two. Oh, and maybe preferred exercise type..
Recent comments - I don't know if it's possible to have a recent comments thing on a blogger blog. I'm sure it is, but I will be consulting my internet geek friend to find out just how to go about having that. I've seen things on other people's blogs where they have widgets in the sidebar, so I'm sure there's a way to go about doing it, and I know I found that useful when it was working on the original OWOA.
Hall of Fame - It was suggested that we could have some sort of hall of fame, with pics and stories of people's successes so far. I think this idea needs more developing (and that I need to go back to the email that the person who suggested this sent to me, cos I know she had developed it more, I'm just going from the brief notes I made!)
Recipes - I liked having recipes on the site, personally. I will be going through the OWOA recipe archives and tagging each recipe, so that you'll be able to look on the side bar, click on the word 'chicken' and see all the recipes which contain chicken. This may take me a while, but I'll get there...! Any suggestions on any other useful tags to use (eg what about entree, dessert, etc?) let me know in the comments of this post.
Weigh-ins - Do we want to keep weigh-ins on a Monday? Personally, I like the way that it helps me to stay focused at the weekend (sometimes it does, anyway!), cos I know the results will be shown on Monday. On the other hand, sometimes when people are doing well most of the week, and allow themselves a planned treat at the weekends, it can also show up in the weigh-in and be disappointing (for example, when a person weighs in lower all the rest of the week, but is consistently up slightly on a Monday - does that show a fair representation of their weight? Or is is just disheartening?)
One person suggested keeping weigh-ins on Monday, but having an additional weigh in on a Friday.
Food Friday - seems like people never really took much notice of this unless there was a competition on...
Competitions & Challenges - Do you like them? What sort of focus would you like them to have? Exercise? Healthy eating? Random things - different tasks each week? Points for checking in?
Check-ins - It's good to check in regularly, and I would like to emphasise that although I'm not about to start chucking people off the team if they don't contribute enough, I also want to point out that if you're not engaging and checking in on a fairly regular basis, then it's hard to see what the point of being on the team is! (I hope that's not too harsh, and no one feels condemned).
It's just hard to stay accountable and encourage one another if no one knows exactly where the other people are at. At the same time, I don't want the check-ins to just become the same old same old. We need to have variety.
God stuff - One of the things I liked about OWOA at the beginning was the focus on God. The sharing of our lives, and supporting one another with prayer and thanksgiving. I definitely want to maintain/encourage back that emphasis (I think we lost it a bit as time went on, but again, I'm not trying to blame anyone in particular for that, so please don't feel condemned!) Any thoughts on how we go about doing that?
Post Catagories - On blogger you can catagorise a post by adding tags when you write it. I agree that it's good to arrange posts into catagories, but this may have to be done by me after the post is written if other people are unsure what to tag their post as. I guess we can come up with a list of tags to use, like weigh-ins, check-ins, just life, etc.
That's all I got at the minute. Please weigh in with your thoughts, responses and ideas, please :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Good Morning!
We're off to visit my grandparents for the day, so not time for a big post. I'll be back with proper content tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view
I guess pretty much all my readers must know that I've been on a weight loss journey for the past two years. I started in October 2006 weighing 294lb (that's 21 stone). Yes, I was fat, more than that, I was obese. I hated how I was, and I hated who I was. Over the course of the last two years I've lost 90lb and I'm still not done yet. I've come so far, but I know there's further to go.
Anyway, the other day I was thinking about how I'd changed. What's different about the me when I was fat and the me now.
I remember being at school, as a teenager, when all my friends had the 'x fancies y' type conversations. I hardly ever joined in with those because, even if I did have crushes, I didn't feel like I deserved to fancy anyone else. I thought that because I was fat, I didn't have the right to find anyone else attractive, since I certainly wasn't attractive. I guess I didn't really lose out much, not being a part of those sorts of conversations, but at the time it only served to make me feel even more different, and even more unworthy.
Now that I've lost weight it somehow feels that I have the self confidence to believe in myself. I recognise that I am a normal human being, someone who will have crushes, someone who hopefully will find that special someone and fall in love. My ex, the first boyfriend I've ever had, taught me that actually someone else could find me attractive. He also taught me that it's not just about the outside appearances, it's what's inside and the type of person you are that matters too. I guess it's a sort of balance between the inside and the outside. I'm not trying to suggest that a more outwardly attractive person can be be a nasty person on the inside and people will still want to be with them (although I'm sure in some relationships that is the case)
I think the more self confidence I have, the better I feel about myself inside, the more likely I am to behave and act and hold myself in a way that makes me more attractive on the outside. I'm not really sure if I'm making sense. What do you think?
Anyway, the other day I was thinking about how I'd changed. What's different about the me when I was fat and the me now.
I remember being at school, as a teenager, when all my friends had the 'x fancies y' type conversations. I hardly ever joined in with those because, even if I did have crushes, I didn't feel like I deserved to fancy anyone else. I thought that because I was fat, I didn't have the right to find anyone else attractive, since I certainly wasn't attractive. I guess I didn't really lose out much, not being a part of those sorts of conversations, but at the time it only served to make me feel even more different, and even more unworthy.
Now that I've lost weight it somehow feels that I have the self confidence to believe in myself. I recognise that I am a normal human being, someone who will have crushes, someone who hopefully will find that special someone and fall in love. My ex, the first boyfriend I've ever had, taught me that actually someone else could find me attractive. He also taught me that it's not just about the outside appearances, it's what's inside and the type of person you are that matters too. I guess it's a sort of balance between the inside and the outside. I'm not trying to suggest that a more outwardly attractive person can be be a nasty person on the inside and people will still want to be with them (although I'm sure in some relationships that is the case)
I think the more self confidence I have, the better I feel about myself inside, the more likely I am to behave and act and hold myself in a way that makes me more attractive on the outside. I'm not really sure if I'm making sense. What do you think?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A little blog business
Before I went on holiday I wrote several pretty long meaty posts. Since then the posts have mostly been photos and a few odd comments. I think I want to try to maintain having both.
The longer posts were good therapy for me - blogging is definitely a sort of therapy, I'm sure. They helped me think things through and come to some conclusions, and also your comments provided me with some valuable thoughts and opinions, so thank you.
I also like having somewhere to share photos and anicdotes.
And we've also had One Weigh or Another (weight-loss) stuff posted here. So it's all a bit confusing, I guess. Very very soon I will be launching the new OWOA site, and all that stuff will shift to being over there. Please bear with me as I get used to being home from holiday, and get stuff sorted out on here.
The longer posts were good therapy for me - blogging is definitely a sort of therapy, I'm sure. They helped me think things through and come to some conclusions, and also your comments provided me with some valuable thoughts and opinions, so thank you.
I also like having somewhere to share photos and anicdotes.
And we've also had One Weigh or Another (weight-loss) stuff posted here. So it's all a bit confusing, I guess. Very very soon I will be launching the new OWOA site, and all that stuff will shift to being over there. Please bear with me as I get used to being home from holiday, and get stuff sorted out on here.
A few highlights from our holiday
(I took over 300 pics, so here are a few plucked at random!)
In the rain...
In the car...
It's not raining...!
We saw LOTS of sheep
In the rain...
In the car...
It's not raining...!
We saw LOTS of sheep
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
OWOA-ers
Please check your emails. If you haven't got an email from me, and you're interested in being a part of the new site, please leave me a comment or better still email me at white-elephant AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk and I'll get back to you asap :)
Twisted ankle
Sunday sun shines down on San Fransisco bay
More random pre-holiday pics for your viewing amusement.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Saturday, what a day
Time to start unpacking....!
Relaunch of OWOA will be happening soon. So any last minute thoughts - comment here or email me on white-elephant AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk
Relaunch of OWOA will be happening soon. So any last minute thoughts - comment here or email me on white-elephant AT hotmail DOT co DOT uk
Friday, August 22, 2008
hi honey, I'm home
We made it home safely. This weekend is going to be busy, so there are still a few more autoposts set up to appear, since I'm not sure how much I'll properly be around....
Um, I really don't want to gloat, especially since lots of you seem to be finding things really hard at the moment, but I think I've finally managed to get the weight loss going again.
The day we left for our holiday I weighed in at 211.8
I just weighed myself, and I was 205. And that's not at my usual weighing time, so it may be down more than that on Monday. That's an all time low for me, and just what I needed to get my butt kicked back into gear :)
Um, I really don't want to gloat, especially since lots of you seem to be finding things really hard at the moment, but I think I've finally managed to get the weight loss going again.
The day we left for our holiday I weighed in at 211.8
I just weighed myself, and I was 205. And that's not at my usual weighing time, so it may be down more than that on Monday. That's an all time low for me, and just what I needed to get my butt kicked back into gear :)
Friday's here again
So how are you feeling?
I'll be here properly soon..., so make sure I have plenty of interesting comments to read when I am :)
I'll be here properly soon..., so make sure I have plenty of interesting comments to read when I am :)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
It's Raining, It's Pouring
I'm fed up of rain, and lack of connection with the outside world - there's not even mobile signal in the cottage where we're staying. I'm currently in a public library to post this, but I've gotta go any minute.
Hugs to all.
(actually, it's not raining right now. But it has rained an awful lot and probably will rain some more..)
Hugs to all.
(actually, it's not raining right now. But it has rained an awful lot and probably will rain some more..)
Hey hey good looking
Watcha got cooking?
What are you eating today? Any exciting recipe you wanna share?
Don't forget to make sure you're getting enough water to drink.
Abby says, why am I a cat? I answer, why not? ;)
What are you eating today? Any exciting recipe you wanna share?
Don't forget to make sure you're getting enough water to drink.
Abby says, why am I a cat? I answer, why not? ;)
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
