This is a different kind of post

to the one you would have got if I'd actually managed to write it earlier.

The last couple of days things have felt pretty good. Hmm, well, maybe not good, but ok, bearable. I've even laughed at some stuff with my family and friends. Today was sunny and the kiddos (Little One and Little Flower) and I had a walk to the corner shop for icecreams and sat out on the grass eating them (yes, icecreams not on the diet, but screw the diet!) The day was going ok, I guess.

But then it took nearly 2 hours to get home (bus didn't come for ages and ages, and then there'd been an accident and the traffic was all messed up) and by the time I got here my brain had just shut down. I just felt tired and cranky and numb. Like a shutter's come down inside my head, and it says "closed to having fun until further notice". And "leave all hope behind" Which is a cliche, but is where my head's at right now.

Tomorrow I need to ring the doctor to make another appointment. About the depression, and also about my ankle which is still not significantly better. It's been two and a half weeks now, and it can still hurt with a pain that makes me feel sick if I move it wrong, or hit it on something by mistake.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. We shall see...
(hey, and big thanks to my etsy friends who have been putting up with me this evening, even in the mood I'm in. You know who you are)