Ok, so it feels like there hasn't really been a lot of content on my blog recently, so I'll try my best to change that, but bear with me, cos it's not easy to get down on paper (or computer screen!) what's going through my head.
I went to the doctors on Thursday. It was really scary, and I had to make myself go. I think it was only the fact that I'd told so many people I was going, and didn't want to let anyone down that actually made me go. On Monday when I'd rung for an appointment I thought through all the different doctors I've seen over the last 6 or 7 months, and to honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to any of them about it. So I left it to God - I asked for an appointment to see a doctor on Thursday, and didn't even ask the name of who I would be seeing, I just left it in God's hands. And he did good :)
It was a lady doctor that I'd never seen or heard of before, but she was great. She made me feel at ease from the beginning (or as at ease as you can be when you're going to say that you're depressed!) But she was friendly and supportive and it felt like she was actually listening to what I had to say (rather than just shrugging it off). I didn't cry on her, but my voice did get pretty tense and squeaky!
Anyway, we talked for a quite a while, and she asked me questions and said some useful stuff. There's an in-house counsellor and she's giving me a referral to see them, and she also printed off a bunch of useful stuff for me to read. She told me about mood gym, which I'm gonna try out sometime... and got me to fill in a questionnaire thing about depression - which I think kinda gauges the level of depression a person is experiencing. We're holding off medication for the time being, which I think is a wise decision. I don't want to rush into that, but would like to try out some other avenues first. She said to come back again in two weeks, but not to hesitate to make an appointment sooner if I need to talk before that. And, I wrote down her name so I can't forget who she is, and can request her for next time!
Hmm, I have lots of other stuff to say, but that seems enough for this post..!
*line from Beautiful by Christina Aguilera