Saturday, September 06, 2008

I am beautiful, in every single way *

Ok, so it feels like there hasn't really been a lot of content on my blog recently, so I'll try my best to change that, but bear with me, cos it's not easy to get down on paper (or computer screen!) what's going through my head.

I went to the doctors on Thursday. It was really scary, and I had to make myself go. I think it was only the fact that I'd told so many people I was going, and didn't want to let anyone down that actually made me go. On Monday when I'd rung for an appointment I thought through all the different doctors I've seen over the last 6 or 7 months, and to honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to any of them about it. So I left it to God - I asked for an appointment to see a doctor on Thursday, and didn't even ask the name of who I would be seeing, I just left it in God's hands. And he did good :)

It was a lady doctor that I'd never seen or heard of before, but she was great. She made me feel at ease from the beginning (or as at ease as you can be when you're going to say that you're depressed!) But she was friendly and supportive and it felt like she was actually listening to what I had to say (rather than just shrugging it off). I didn't cry on her, but my voice did get pretty tense and squeaky!

Anyway, we talked for a quite a while, and she asked me questions and said some useful stuff. There's an in-house counsellor and she's giving me a referral to see them, and she also printed off a bunch of useful stuff for me to read. She told me about mood gym, which I'm gonna try out sometime... and got me to fill in a questionnaire thing about depression - which I think kinda gauges the level of depression a person is experiencing. We're holding off medication for the time being, which I think is a wise decision. I don't want to rush into that, but would like to try out some other avenues first. She said to come back again in two weeks, but not to hesitate to make an appointment sooner if I need to talk before that. And, I wrote down her name so I can't forget who she is, and can request her for next time!

Hmm, I have lots of other stuff to say, but that seems enough for this post..!

*line from Beautiful by Christina Aguilera


BeckyKay said...

Good for you, Debs! I hope everything works out perfectly. **hugs**

moonmystic said...

That's hard to do! The drs. in the US just throw meds at you.

Anna said...

Something I have been through and can understand how hard that must have been. It can only get easier now hun! xx

Julie said...

How can a depressed person diet? I don't think it's possible. Maybe you should take some time off the diet, (just don't go mad), seek to kinda stay stable-ish weight wise. - Just a thought.

Krazy Kate Designs said...

Debs, I'm so proud of you!! A very difficult step to take and you did it! I'll be praying for you as you journey towards your precious joy. God Bless You.

Deanna said...

I'm proud of you too! It's a very hard thing to do, making that step. I've suffered from depression my whole life...kinda runs in the family... I've run the gammut with docs and docs and more docs. Remember that you're taking care of YOU and nothing else is more important!
Hugs from me!!

Erika said...

I just wanted to say ive been reading your blog for a bit now, and i too am needing to lose weight, but my depression is hindering me, so it doesnt help but that is amazing that you have lost 90+pounds so far. I have to agree, most doctors just give you a bottle of pills and hope they work, its so true. Sounds like a got a great Dr there.

Samantha said...

Sounds like you got ahold of a very nice Doctor. Thats good to hear. I think your on the right track with trying other solutions before jumping onto medication. Some people do need medication for depression, just like someone who has high cholestrol might need medication. But I think there are others who can be helped by other means without needing the medication route and maybe your one of those. Especially if you have to pay for it out of pocket prescriptions are expensive!

Right As Rain Creations said...

Debs, so glad you saw a dr about this and that she was someone who listened!

Hopefully you can get through this without medication - but please don't hesitate to give meds a go, if that is what the Dr recommends. Sometimes your body just gets "off" and a little medication for a brief stint will help it re-learn what it should be doing.

Clinical or chemical depression is not unusual for someone who has been through a serious or drawn-out illness (or pregnancy and childbirth, for instance!). It is as though the stress on your body physically ends up over-taxing it to the point that other systems go a bit haywire too.

I was on a low-dose antidepressant after Thad's birth for that very reason, and it helped immensely. I had more energy during the day and slept better at night, which gave me an entirely fresh outlook on life! I weaned myself off the meds after about nine months and didn't have any relapse.

Feel free to convo me via Etsy or facebook if you want to talk more. :)