Tuesday, July 29, 2008

what's love, but a secondhand emotion?

There are so many songs about love. The one I have in my head at the moment is The Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge. It's all so 'perfect'. In the course of a song the guy persuades the girl to fall in love with him, or at least sleep with him. There are songs about love working out, there are songs about love and love affairs ending. There are songs for just about every aspect of love that you can think of. Or at least the different aspects of the 'eros' physical sexual kind of love.

But love isn't just about sex. Sure, I've heard that it's good, and definitely not to be sneezed at in the right time and place, but love is so much more than that. Like I said yesterday, there are different types of love. Within a marriage* there needs to be more than sex to hold the relationship together. Anyway, I'm not entirely sure how I got on to talking about sex, but lets move on.

Right now I'm in the position that I've had one boyfriend, ever. I'm 26 right now, so yes, I guess that's pretty uncommon. But that's ok with me. To be honest, I think being overweight (obese, to be precise) while I was going through my teen years was probably a life saver for me. I never had to go through the mental struggles of dating and getting close to someone at a time in my life when I wasn't ready physically or mentally for things like marriage. Now that I'm 26 I feel like I am ready when/if the situation arises. Of course what I need now is for a nice guy to come along, but in the meanwhile I'm trying, with God's help, to be happy with my situation as it stands.

I know that my identity, my sense of worth won't be found through meeting a nice guy, getting married and having babies. I know that I need to find my identity before all of that, that other people can't show me who am I. This is where I start getting 'religious', so please bear with me, or go read something else if you're not in the mood ;)

I believe that my identity is in God. It's something so big, so great that I'm not sure I can actually begin to talk about it at the moment. It feels like it needs its own blog post - maybe tomorrow! In the meantime, I'll leave you with some words from this song 'Befriended' by Matt Redman.

Astounded, astounded that Your gospel beckoned me
Surrounded, surrounded but I've never been so free,
Determined, determined now to live this life for You
You're so worthy my greatest gift would be the least You're due

This blog post went off in a completly differnet direction to that which I was expecting, but that's ok. I'll post it anyway!

* I'm a Christian and believe that sex should only take place within marriage. I respect that my readers may not agree, but please keep it civil in the comments, and note that I will delete any inappropriate comments as I see fit

8 comments:

Holly said...

I respect your values and I think it's wonderful that you never come across as preachy or judgemental and superior. You demonstrate a sweetness and acceptance of others that is sometimes rare in Christian circles. There is a wonderful man out there who deserves you. I can't wait until you find him!

RainbowMom said...

That's really cool. I love your courage and admire your values! Love is a profound emotion. It is so much more then sweet and quiet and it's certainly the most powerful gift any of us have in our arsenal. And, you got girl.. you understand the power in true and great love.. not just within a relationship.. but for ourselves.. for God and for Life. Right on. :) You are going to make someone very happy. :) Peace.

Krazy Kate Designs said...

Thank Him for your gift of 'singleness" while you have it.

tattytiara said...

I didn't even date until I was in my thirties. What you're ready for when you're ready for it is the only way to go, and yes indeed in the meantime love love love being single. It's like childhood - it's hard to fully understand all of the advantages of it until you don't have them anymore!

La Alicia said...

your wisdom well exceeds your 26 years! :)

Simple Fancies said...

Debs,
I love you and pretty much agree with everything you just wrote.

"I know that my identity, my sense of worth won't be found through meeting a nice guy, getting married and having babies. I know that I need to find my identity before all of that, that other people can't show me who am I."

My identity is in God and because of that "identity" I can freely and joyously accept that my identity is a wife and mother. I wouldn't say that I had an identity before that...meaning I hadn't achieved some status quo. I didn't have to find myself, go to school, establish a career and then get married. God has blessed me beyond measure and only through those blessings did I learn who I am. Only through those blessings did I learn that I am a wife that strives to be all that I believe God wants me to be and a mother who is still doing much learning on this journey of child rearing. I guess what I'm ultimately getting at is that yes, my identy is in God but that identity is ever changing, growing, being refined because of the roles that he has given me.
Does that make any sense or did I loose you?

Carley said...

There is someone out there for everyone. Just some of us kiss/date/ marry, too many frogs, before we find our prince.

You'll find him soon. (then can you see if his brother likes me?) Thanks x

Anonymous said...

Have you heard of Princess Bubble? This is their whole message.